DEFINITION: Positive thinking is a mental attitude in which you expect good and favorable results.

It’s difficult to keep this up all the time in my experience. We let our guard down and negative thoughts come swooping into our heads. It’s the nature of the egoic delusion also known as the small mind. No one is immune to the inner critic.

Anything that puts you or another down (negative mind chatter) is not your inner wisdom talking. On the other hand, true intuition is heard as a soft voice or gentle urging. Often felt in your gut or heart. Using outside means (positive thinking) to feel better doesn’t work in the long run.

Keep in mind, being overly positive does not work. Even if you could keep it up, your mind will not believe you if you try to talk positively to yourself all of the time.

Don’t get me wrong positive affirming can be helpful but not if it’s used to cover up a plethora of old beliefs that no longer serve. Most certainly you will end up overwhelmed by limiting thoughts again.

Can you remember the last time you liked what you saw in the mirror inside & out?

When feeling down, the last thing you want to do is wallow in the mire.

So, somehow you pick yourself up (choosing to ignore the uncomfortable feelings) and begin what I call the band-aid approach – trying to think positively by repeating positive statements over and over again.

This works for a while until the next time you are flattened by these negative thoughts and emotions and the positive affirming seems to have lost its potency.

Ignoring surfacing emotion is the recipe for staying stuck. In the scenario above positive thinking is at best a temporary fix and at worst the recipe for stagnation & misery.

Follow these three steps to become aware of your self-talk and connect to your true essence. You will most certainly become more attuned to your loving inner voice.

Listen to your self-talk – The best way to listen to your self-talk is to take several quiet breaks throughout the day and write out your thoughts. Ask yourself, “What am I thinking about myself right now?”

Question your self-talk – After noting your self-talk, determine if it is helping or hindering. If it is causing you stress, ask yourself if what you are telling yourself is really a true statement.

Some questions you can ask are: - Is this really true about myself?

- Is this the whole picture?

- How can I see this differently?

Reframe your self-talk – Once you’ve checked in and have identified your negative self-talk, look for a positive spin on your negative outlook.

It’s likely you are speaking to yourself in absolutes like “never” and “always”.

For example, “I never get it right” or “I always make stupid mistakes.” Find the truth, even if it’s just one step closer to more kindness.

Instead of now saying, “I always get it right”, which you likely will not believe about yourself, try, “Sometimes, I do get it right.”